​DIG IT

Suicidal Thoughts and Attempts

 

I've always felt like an outsider; a loser. I've also always been destined for greatness. I'm technically French, but i'm a Corsican and with a heritage like that I will never get anywhere in life. I dreamed of being an author because it was impossible to get a good life, under the Old Regime. I wasn't going anywhere else from the royal academy. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like there's nothing else for me to do and therefor no reason for me to even be alive. I battled depression for a long time before I saw another opportunity. I thought of suicide every single night. I don't know why I didn't; I mean i'm glad I didn't because then I wouldn't have accomplished everything I did in my life; but I saw no hope and no future for me so any normal person in my situation would have just ended their misery!

 

In 1975, I returned to Paris determined to rise higher and gain more power. No one paid any attention to me there and that hurt me a lot because I knew I was destined for greatness. Not getting anywhere again, I thought for sure that this time my road has come to an end. I said all my goodbyes to everyone and I even wrote a note to my brother. I was so sad and done with not being given the chance to fulfill my destiny! What other choice did I have? None. I had no other choices. I was done in this cruel world. I had planned out how I was going to end myself, but something inside stopped me. It was a voice reminding me that destiny always happens in the end. The voice of destiny told me that I would get power because that's what I was created for. I didn't commit suicide and I'm super glad because then, I met the most beautiful girl ever. Josephine.

 

When i was 30 years old, I was the most powerful man in all of France. Everyone trusted me, my beautiful Josephine was by my side, I didn't lose a battle yet. Was. I was the most powerful man in all of France. After I lost Josephine and married the Archduchess of Austria, Marie-Louise, and had a baby, I started carrying around poison. I was a good father and a loving husband. It killed me to say good-bye to my lovely wife and my beautiful baby, and to renounce my throne. I drank the poison in hopes that it would do the job. The poison failed. I went back to Corsica and became the Emporer of Elba. I fixed the island up. When Josephine died I was heartbroken. A man of genious always gets back on his feet. I realized that fate was telling me that I still was destined for more greatness by not letting the poison kill me! I went back to Paris to regain my power, but I lost my confidence and my belief. I lost the battle. I was shipped off to St. Helena. That's where I am now. Every day just keeps getting worse and worse. I just wish I would die already! I wish thta poison would've worked because then I wouldn't have to face that lose and my fate here on this island! I just wish it would've worked...